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.I saw beer cans sitting on the porch railing, jocks in their letterman jackets nearby, their girls tucked deftly at their sides.Cars were parked up and down the drive.Horns honked, people shouted.There was electricity in the air around all of us, knowing we were so close to the end of one life and on the cusp of another.I was wrapped up in all of it.So much.Too much.“Like it when it’s just you and me,” John said quietly.I fought the annoyance that threatened to rise.He didn’t deserve me snapping at him, not for telling me the truth.From the beginning, John had made it clear he didn’t need anyone other than me, but I wasn’t built like him.As lonely as my life had been so far and as much as John had brought to me, I still craved others, to talk with them, to laugh with them.The latter part of my high school years had seen me turn into someone different, someone I hadn’t been when I first met John.I was more comfortable in my skin.I was happier with who I was.I didn’t take shit from anyone.I had friends.I had respect.I had a place.But I also knew that it was all because of John.Everything came back to him, which is why I didn’t let myself get angry with him.I couldn’t.It wasn’t fair to him.All he ever wanted was me.How could I get mad at him for that?So instead I took a quick look around, making sure no one was paying attention to us, and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the dark around the side of the house.Once I was sure we were alone, I pressed him up against the brick and mortar, rubbing up against him as I flicked my tongue, licking into his mouth.He groaned softly, his hands on my hips, pulling me closer, grinding against me.His erection was evident against my own.The kiss was getting sloppy, but I didn’t care.I never cared about that with him.I broke the kiss, panting, leaning my forehead against his shoulder.His arms curled around me, his fingers in my hair, I made a decision.“Tonight,” I told him, nipping at his neck.He hissed.“What?”I pulled back, looking into his wide eyes.“Tonight,” I said again.“I want to.I need you.”He searched my face, his hands stilling in my hair.“You sure, Jackie?” he asked slowly.“You said you wanted to wait until we got out of the house.I don’t even know if we’ll know what to do.” It didn’t stop him from pressing against me again, grinding his hips into mine.I reached down between us and squeezed his dick through the rough denim, chuckling quietly at the way he groaned and pushed forward into my grip.“Pretty sure we’ll figure out something,” I said, kissing his neck.“We’ll hang here for a while and then go to the lake.Just you and me.”“You promise?”“Yeah, John.I promise.We’ll just say hi to a few people, have a couple of beers, and then we’ll get out of here.”“Who do you want to talk to?” he asked me suspiciously.Shit.“Uh… Tony invited us.” Invited me, that is.John tensed beneath me.“Did he now?” His voice was flat.I sighed.“It’s not like you think.”“Oh? And what do I think, Jack?”Fuck.He was pissed.I should have known this would happen.Maybe I should have come by myself.I took a step back from him and put my hands in my pockets, looking down at my feet.I could feel John’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t meet them.“John,” I started.But then I closed my mouth, unsure of what to say.“You know I don’t like him,” John said quietly.“He’s not that bad.I… I think he’s… like us.” And that’s why I was there, why we were there.I’d always wondered if there were others like us out there; I was sure there had to be.I didn’t even know how I knew it about Tony.Maybe just a vibe or a look or something.But I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was like John and me.I thought it might help us to have someone else like us that we could talk to.That I could talk to.John snorted.“No shit.”I looked up at him sharply.“What’s that supposed to mean?”“You don’t see it, do you?”“See what?” I was annoyed again and took a step back.“He likes you.”“We’re friends.” Sort of.“No.More than that.He ain’t exactly subtle about it, Jack.You don’t see the way he looks at you like I do.When you ain’t watchin’, he’s watchin’ you.”“Bullshit.”He scowled at me.“Not hardly
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