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."Ot you can answer me freely, and I'll have no reason to hurt you.Once you've given me what I need, I'll return yout blades, permit you to unsheathe them, and we'll fight.You're alegionnaire.Surely you'd prefer the honor of a warrior's death, and I'd like to give it to you."The legionnaire stared at him."You're crazy.""People often say that, but they're mistaken." Malark decided to confide in the warrior.It was one technique for building trust between interrogator and prisoner, and besides, he rarely had the chance to tell his story."I just see existence in a way others can't."A long, long while ago, I learned of a treasure.The sole surviving dose of a philter to keep a man from aging forever after."I coveted it.So did others.In those days, I scarcely knew the rudiments of fighting, but I had a friend who was proficient, and together we bested our rivals and seized the prize.We'd agreed we'd each drink half the potion, and thus, though neither of us would become immortal, we'd both live a long time.""But you betrayed him," said the legionnaire, "and drank it all yourself."Malark smiled."Are you saying that because you're a good judge of character, or because it's what you would have done? Either way, you're right.That's exactly what I did, and later on, I started to regret it."First, I watched everyone I loved, everyone I even knew, pass away.That's hard.I wept when my former friend died a feeble old man, and he'd spent the past fifty years trying to revenge himself on me."I attempted to move forward.I told myself there was a new generation of people to care about.The problem, of course, was that before long, in the wink of an eye, or so it seemed, they died, too."When I grew tired of enduring that, I tried living with dwarves and later, elves, but it wasn't the same as living with my own kind, and in time, they passed away just like humans.It simply took a little longer."The soldier gaped at him."How old are you?""Older than Thay.I recall hearing the tidings that the Red Wizards had fomented a rebellion against Mulhorand, though I wasn't in these parts to witness it myself.Anyway, over time, I pretty much lost the ability to feel an attachment to individual people, for what was the point? Instead, I tried to embrace causes and places, only to discover those die too.I lost count of the times I gave my affection to one or another town along the Moonsea, only to see the place sacked and the inhabitants massacred.I learned that as the centuries roll by, even gods change, or at least our conception of them does, which amounts to the same thing if you're looking for some constancy to cling to."But eventually I realized there was one constant, and that was death.In its countless variations, it was happening all around me, all the time.It befell everyone, or at least, everyone but me, and that made it fascinating.""If you're saying you wanted to die, why didn't you just stick a dagger into your heart or jump off a tower? Staying young forever isn't the same thing as being unkillable, is it?""No, it isn't, and I've considered ending my life on many occasions, but something has always held me back.Early on, it was the same dread of death that prompted me to strive for the elixir and betray my poor friend in the first place.After I made a study of extinction, I shed the fear, but with enlightenment, suicide came to seem like cheating, or at the very least, bad manners.Death is a gift, and we aren't meant to reach out and snatch it.We're supposed to wait until the universe is generous enough to bestow it on us.""I don't understand.""Don't worry about it.Most people don't, but the Monks of the Long Death do, and there came a day when I was fortunate enough to stumble across one of their hidden enclaves and gain admission as a novice."The legionnaire blanched."You're one of those madmen?""It depends on your point of view.After a decade or two, paladins descended on the monastery and slaughtered my brothers and sisters.Only I escaped, and afterward, I didn't feel the need to search for another such stronghold.I'd already learned what I'd hoped to, and the rigors and abstentions of the ascetic life had begun to wear on me."According to the rules of the order, I'm an apostate, and if they evet tealize it, they'll likely try to kill me.But though I no longer hold a place in the hierarchy, I still adhere to the teachings.I still believe that while all deaths are desirable, some are better than others.The really good ones take a form appropriate to the victim's life and come to him in the proper season.I believe it's both a duty and the highest form of art to arrange such passings as opportunity allows."That's why I permitted younger, healthier, more successful men to pass by and accosted you instead.It's why I hope to give you a fighter's death.""What are you talking about? It's not my 'season' to die!""Are you sure? Isn't it plain your best days are past? Doesn't your leg ache constantly? Don't you feel old age working its claws into you? Aren't you disappointed with the way your life has turned out? Why not let it go then? The priests and philosophers assure us that something better waits beyond.""Shut up! You can't talk me into wanting to die.""I'm not trying.Not exactly.I told you, I want you to go down fighting.I just don't want you to be afraid.""I'm not! Or at least I won't be if you keep your promise and give back my sword.""I will.I'll return your blades and fight you empty-handed.""Ask your cursed questions, then, and I'll answer honestly.Why shouldn't I, when you'll never have a chance to repeat what I say to Dmitra Flass or anybody else?""Thank you." The inquisition didn't take long.At the end, though Malark had learned a good deal he hadn't comprehended before, he still wasn't sure why it was truly important, but he realized he'd come to share his mistress's suspicion that it was.Now, however, was not the time to ponder the matter.He needed to focus on the duel to come
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