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.His whole body tightened at the thought of his mother.She had ripped them apart.It was her fault.Everything was her fault."Did I -- did I do something wrong?" Billy stammered, suddenly looking nervous.Andrew realized he was staring at his son with a ferocious, glaring expression."No, of course not.I was thinking about something else.""About Mom?" Billy asked.Andrew started in surprise."Becky Lee? No.Why would you ask me that?""Because sometimes you look like that when you stare at her picture, the one on the mantel in the living room.""Do I? I didn't realize.""I miss her, too," Billy said."Even though I don't remember her."Andrew stared at his son, realizing this was the first time Billy had ever said anything quite so personal.Andrew didn't know how to respond.He was inadequate when it came to words.He was a newspaperman; words were supposed to be his business.But it was far easier to write about city council meetings than to talk to his son about the mother he had never known.Andrew wanted to tell Billy that he understood, because he knew what it was like to lose a mother.Only, his mother hadn't died.She had left him.At least Becky Lee had taken Billy with her.She had deserted her husband but not her child.He could give her credit for that."Do you want to use the bathroom?" Billy asked."No." And the moment passed before Andrew could say anything more personal than that."I'm going into town to help Kara decorate the rec center.Do you want to come with me?" he asked, almost as an afterthought.Billy shook his head."It might be fun," Andrew added.If he couldn't talk to his son, at least he could do something with him once in awhile."Is Uncle Ryan going to be there?"Andrew tried to stay calm."I don't know.Does it matter?" Of course it mattered.Andrew and Billy had never spoken about Ryan, but Andrew was sure Billy had heard tales about Ryan all over town.That was the problem with small towns.Everybody knew your business, sometimes before you did.But despite the speculation, nobody knew the real story, and as far as Andrew was concerned, nobody ever would."It doesn't really matter, but." Billy stumbled over his words."I just, sort of, thought that well, you know, maybe."Andrew waited patiently for the sentence to come out."Maybe he'd want to meet me or something, or maybe not." Billy looked down at his hands, obviously worried about his father's reaction."I'm sure you'll see him before he goes," Andrew replied, not sure at all, but he didn't know what else to say."Grandmother Margaret hates him, doesn't she?" Billy asked with surprising clarity."I guess she does.""And you hate him, and Grandfather Jonas does, too.I don't think I'll like him either.He's probably a jerk."Andrew didn't know what to say.As much as he wanted to agree with Billy, he couldn't find the words.It suddenly seemed wrong to talk about Ryan to a boy who.Well, it just seemed wrong."I don't think I'll go with you," Billy decided, not waiting for Andrew to reply."Angel wants to check out the river.It's really high, almost to the bottom of Tucker's Bridge.""Stay away from the fast parts," Andrew said, relieved at the change in subject."I will."Andrew turned to leave."Uh, Dad?" Billy said, looking suddenly uncertain."Yeah?""Do you think I'm getting some hair above my lip?"Andrew walked over to Billy and looked into the mirror with him.He had a feeling this was the most important question Billy had asked him in a long time."Yeah, I think so."Billy ran his finger along his upper lip."It feels kind of rough.Maybe I should shave tonight, before the party."Andrew nodded his head solemnly."Good idea.""Dad -- uh, do you think -- uh, you could show me how -- I mean, if you have time?""Yeah, I could do that."Billy met his eyes in the mirror, his expression full of adolescent pride.For the first time in a long time, Andrew felt confident in his role of father.If Andrew hadn't stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some shaving cream for himself and Billy, he would have missed Ryan.Or at least he wouldn't have had to see him for a few more hours.But no, he had to stop.He had to go in, even after he saw the red Ferrari in the parking lot.Ryan was talking to Harry Bender, the pharmacist, and Leslie Bender, the pharmacist's daughter.Leslie had a hand on Ryan's arm.She smiled up at him like he was a goddamned hero.And Ryan soaked it up, the way he always had.Andrew felt his body tense.Ryan looked just the same, just as attractive, just as arrogant.It wasn't supposed to be this way, Andrew thought desperately.If Ryan was going to come back at all, it should have been as a failure, not as a rich celebrity.The door closed behind Andrew, jangling the bell overhead.Ryan, Leslie, and Harry looked up.Their laughter stopped.Their smiles faded, as if he were the intruder.Dammit, this was his town, not Ryan's, not anymore.Andrew picked up a can of shaving cream and walked over to the counter.He handed Harry a five-dollar bill."Keep the change," he said.Then he walked out -- without saying a word, without acknowledging his brother
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